Hogwarts on Myspace
by noliolio
Summary: So I was very bored, and I thought 'hey, what would happen if Hogwarts was on Myspace? Yes, I know electronics aren't allowed, but I thought maybe it could be fun. Sooo... read and maybe, possibly, review!
1. Chapter 1

Hogwarts discovers Myspace

Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah blah…

Chapter One: Harry Potter

_Display name? Hmmm… Oh of course!_

'Harry Potter'

Headline: Hello. _Yes that's genius!_

_About me… What about me?_

About Me: I'm Harry Potter, I'm 16 years old. I am enjoying my sixth year of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My favorite pastimes include: Saving the wizarding world repeatedly, attempting to overachieve, and playing quidditch. I was the youngest seeker in a decade did you know? I just adore my owl Hedwig. She's the greatest. And my broom… I like that too. It's nice. It's still shiny, even though I always play my hardest, of course. No one would expect anything less. I have a lot of friends. Because who doesn't love a hero? Except for those horrid Slytherins. They're the worst…

I'd Like to Meet: I would like to meet Godric Gryffindor. He seems like a pretty cool guy, wouldn't you say? And this JK Rowling person. She created me; can't I at least meet her? I'd also like to meet my parents… Yes, that's right, they're dead. :'(

Heroes: James Potter. I wish to be just like him. He was amazing. And Albus Dumbledore. He knows everything. My other hero is Sirius Black, the second best character in the series, before he died :'(. Wait, series? What series? Is that crazy fanfiction writer adding in her own opinion again? She knows how I feel about that!

Marital Status: Single

I am here for: Friends

Sexual Orientation: _Well, Ron did look magnificent in his new jumper… WHAT?! No he didn't! I swear noliolio, if you don't stop that! _Straight

Body Type: Body Builder. _Pssh. Yeah right… I am! I'm a seeker! Stop arguing! This is MY Myspace noliolio, remember?!_

Occupation: Saving the wizarding world. Over. And over. And over.

Income: 250,000 and higher.

Now I'm off to request some friends…

Search: Ron Weasley

Results 1 – 10 of 154,364

_Wow. How many Myspaces could Ron make? Certainly not this many. Imposters!_

Harry went back to his main page and clicked "New Friend Requests"

Roonil Wazlib. Accept.

Hermione Granger. Accept.

Slytherin Prince. _Draco Malfoy?! Requesting me?! Oh fine then… _Accept.

Ginevra Darling [hates Divination]. Accept.

Severus Snape. _Snape has a Myspace?! Ew! _Accept.

The Headmaster of Hogwarts. _Heh… Dumbledore… _Accept.

Rita Skeeter, the One and Only. DENY.

The Terrible Twin. Accept.

The even MORE terrible twin. Accept.

_This is FUN! _

A/N- YAY! I hoped you liked it. =D I think I'm going to keep this going. Review and tell me what you think. Please and thank you! =D  
-Noli


	2. Chapter 2

Hogwarts on Myspace Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I never have own anything, I never will own anything. Okay? Okay.

Display name: Roonil Wazlib

_Myspace… This should be fun…_

About me: I'm Ron Weasley. You know, of the Weasleys. You must know us. We're famous, what with there being 7 of us… There's Charlie and Bill, who left Hogwarts before I even started… And there's Percy, the filthy traitor… Oh! And Fred and George, of course. They're crazy. They left Hogwarts last year though… And then there's my little sister Ginny. She's the only female Weasley in generations. She's so innocent. I make sure to keep it that way too, what with her being a girl and all. I'm a guy! And I know how guys think and guys are just NOT going to think about her. Then there's my mum. She's so stressed! I feel so bad, what with Fred and George to watch out for, and Ginny going around the way she does. Come to think of it, how does she go around? Well, anyway, good think mum has me to keep her grounded. And then there are my best friends, Harry and Hermione. They're cool. Sometimes. Well, Harry is. Hermione can be a bit… frightening.

I'd Like to Meet: Everyone on the Bulgarian Quidditch team! They're amazing! Except for that bloody Viktor Krum… Who does he think he is?!

General: I love quidditch! Though I suppose I'm not exactly "fantastic" at it… And I love chocolate frogs and Bertie Botts' every flavor bean and pumpkin pasties and butterbeer! I hate hate hate potions. I like defense okay though. But school's not really my cup of tea. It's more Hermione's thing…

_Ooh a survey…_

Where is the person you like?

Person I like? Who says I like someone, huh?!

Have you ever met a gay person?

Yes well… I believe so. And there have been some questionable people…

Have you ever intentionally made someone jealous?

What?! I love Lav-Lav I was making no one jealous and I was NOT proving a point!

last thing you ate?

Uhhh well that was at the Great Hall for dinner and I can never keep track of what I eat…

What' s something you' re excited about right now?

Certainly not this Herbology homework. What good is Venomous Tentacula anyway?

Was/ is your house's quidditch team any good?

Gryffindor? Oh, we're great!

Last time you were truly disappointed?

When I found out that the kitchens were all out of pumpkin pasties…

What movie never fails to make you cry?

Watching chick flicks with my sister over summer break. What?! That's a lie I swear! I never watch those gushy romance movies! Harry warned me about you, you stupid fanfiction writer!

Are you talkative?

Talkative? Talkative? Like I talk a lot? It depends on who you ask. Like if you asked Hermione, she'd say I never shut up. But ask someone who talks all the time, like Cho Chang, and she'll prolly say I'm quiet as a mouse! See? So it's really a matter of opinion…

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can' t even stand it?

UMBRIGDE!

What is stressing you out most right now?

Potions essay due tomorrow!

Is there someone you will never forge t?

Oh, of course! There's lots of people.

How are you right this second?

Hungry…

Were any of your past relationships worth it?

Past? What like, before this one? Oh yeah… right… all of 'em, you know how it is… With the girls and me… there were so many I can't even remember…

Who' s your best friend(s) ?

Harry and Hermione of course!

Where do you wish you were right now?

Hogsmeade. Or at home. No! In the Great Hall. Eating. : )


	3. Chapter 3

Hogwarts on Myspace Chapter 3

Disclaimer: What do you think?

MUAHAHAHAHA It's time for Draco Malfoy…

Display name: _Sexy Beast! No… too conspicuous. Mr. Sexy Beast! No… Draco Malfoy! No, unoriginal. Ha, I've got it… _Slytherin Prince

About Me: Well, I'm Draco Malfoy, as you all know. I'm sexy, I'm smart, and I'm pretty much all around AMAZING. You can't get any better than this. As you know, I'm a pureblood and a Slytherin, and damn proud. _Although, sometimes I just wish I were a Hufflepuff… what?! No I certainly do not you bloody little fanfiction writer! _

_Oh, shut up and keep writing ferret. Our readers are waiting._

_I will not!_

_Stop thinking so loud, and tell people about yourself, would you?!_

_Fine…_

Right so… smart, amazing, Slytherin, sexy ferret. Ferret! I am NOT a ferret! Would you let that go?!

_Never!_

I love money. And that's about all you need to know. I'm also madly in love with noliolio. _What?! I… eh, whatever…_

Heroes: Myself, of course. Have you ever met anyone so gorgeous?

Marital Status: Married (To noliolio)

Lets go TRUTH BOXING!!!

What do I really think about Harry Potter… Harry, you are a bloody insolent little prat. You are not brave at all and I wish the worst upon you. If only I could just see your angelic face once more… I swear noliolio if you keep this up, I'm filing for a divorce!

And Ron Weasley… You are a big stupid poop-head. Poop-head? What kind of insult is _that_? What's next, does he have cooties too?

Ginevra Darling [hates Divination]- you're actually not too terrible. If it weren't for your stupid muggle-loving family and idiotic brother(s).

Hermione Granger- You know-it-all! Stop being so bloody annoying!

Luna Lovegood- Let me tell you, bat-shit crazy! They don't call you Loony for nothing.

_Stop being so mean Draco!_

Never, it's just who I am…

_Fine…_

What do I think about noliolio? I think she's super duper amazing and I will love her forever and ever and I will buy her fancy dress robes and all the French fries in the world. And nothing can ever break the bond between us.

What?! What is all this lovey-dovey crap? Noliolio you stop that this instant or I will never star in one of your fanfictions again!

_Heh, talk about an empty threat…_

Hmmm well… This chapter was super short, and not that great, and took too long to get up and I know it doesn't deserve it but review anyway? Maybe with a recommendation for what to do next?


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